From Spark to Sacred: Rebuilding Intimacy After Betrayal with Dr. Bruce Chalmer

In this episode of Pleasure Principles, we delve into the evolution of intimacy—from the fading spark in long-term relationships to the profound depths of sacred sex. Dr. Bruce Chalmer, psychologist and author of Reigniting the Sparkand Betrayal and Forgiveness, joins us to challenge the idea that communication alone saves relationships. Instead, he unpacks how couples can reclaim intimacy by navigating fear, rebuilding trust after betrayal, and practicing emotional presence. We explore the difference between plain, good, and sacred sex, and why faith—not performance—is the foundation for long-term love.

About the Guest:
Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist with over 30 years of experience in couples therapy. He specializes in intimacy, betrayal recovery, and emotional repair. He’s the author of Reigniting the Spark and Betrayal and Forgiveness, and co-hosts the podcast Couples Therapy in 7 Words with his wife, Judy. His approach is grounded in “Be kind. Don’t panic. Have faith.”

Key Takeaways:

• Intimacy fades not due to failure but from over-prioritizing stability and avoiding emotional risk.

• Most couples don’t lack communication skills—they just communicate mistrust, resentment, or fear.

• There’s a difference between plain old sex, good sex, and sacred sex—each requires deeper presence and connection.

• Forgiveness isn’t forgetting—it’s remembering wisely and choosing to release the burden.

• Betrayal can be a wake-up call that leads to deeper intimacy—if both partners are willing to grow.

• Faith is a practice—believing in the possibility of healing, even in the hardest moments.

Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer:
Website: www.brucechalmer.com
Podcast: Couples Therapy in 7 Words

 

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